Classic Scottsdale D-Bag

Thanks Brandon for this gem:

Scottsdale D-Bag BMW for sale

Read the description at the bottom, especially this bit:

This car has gotten me laid so much it is ridiculous. I would like pull up to a pimp club in Scottsdale and the valet would crap his pants, but I wouldn't let him park it. I just leave it up front and make sure all the ladies saw me get out. I'm also totally ripped so that helps too. I inject myself with pure bull shark testosterone and lift 4 hours a day. My diet also consists of 24 egg whites a day. I've got a killer 6 pack and some delts that you would not believe. I only hook up with 9s and 10s. Never less because I'm a winner! I'm not saying this car will do the same for you but it's a start. If you're interested in taking the first step to becoming a true Jedi Pimp email me at [email protected]. I'll probably be working out so I'll get back to you as soon as I finish my protein shake (and probably hooking up with a hot chick).

Only in Scottsdale does a used M3 with aftermarket ghetto trim get you laid, if he's telling the truth at all. Even by Scottsdale standards it's not that impressive. Valet guys "crap their pants?" Uh-huh. Here - or in most other real affluent cities - that car would get him laughed out of the valet line.

Oh yeah, and I haven't seen a truly hot chick in Scottsdale since about 2002 so I'd like to know his definition of "hot."

Just another example of why Scottsdale is the laughing stock of America.

EDIT - The ad was deleted a few hours after my post. I guess too many readers of this blog probably heckled the guy :)

Comments

[MG]

For some reason, the color does not look like a BMW stock color. Could it be the car has been painted with some aftermarket paint?

Not sure here....

[MG]

OK - I asked a friend who is a Bimmer owner and he said that the color is a true BMW color for an M3...just that the seller probably used a cheap camera or cell-phone camera to take the pics. However, he stated that the rims are known as "drug dealer rims" and are aftermarket. Wrecked his Bimmer by lowering it and adding aftermarket wheels. Looks skanky.

[John]

NOOOOOOO!! They took the ad down. I'm so mad!

[calags]

This SO reminds me of the song that Gaston sings in "Beauty and the Beast". I guess this guy uses antlers in all of his decorating and is especially good at expectorating.

[Joe Jacari]

Exactly.

They're turning Scottsdale into a friggen' laughing stock and parody of itself.

Just like too much steroids, botox, breast implants, face lifts, etc., turn you into a fake-looking ding-bat of a person,
too much effort at glitz, glam, show, pretense, etc. are turning Scottsdale into a fake paradise and plastic city.

It's not too late to turn back.

Perhaps the great housing-bust enima will flush out some of the refuse and return the city so some semblance of normalcy.

I wouldn't count on it, but stranger things have happened.

[Brandon]

When I saw this, I just had to send it to you!

[Shyster]

I can't believe you don't see this as a parody.

[MG]

For those who missed the link, here is a similar bimmer with the same color (Laguna Seca blue) as the d-bag one posted by Brandon. This car is in Tucson, not Scottsdale, and unlike the original car posted, is a convertible and also has BMW wheels as opposed to the aftermarkets on the d-bag car. Both have a similar amount of miles (the d-bag car had 67.5k miles on it). D-bag wanted 24k or so for his bimmer. About the same year.

http://www.cars.com/go/search/detail.jsp;?tracktype=usedcc&searchType=21&pageNumber=0&numResultsPerPage=50&largeNumResultsPerPage=0&sortorder=descending&sortfield=PRICE+descending&certifiedOnly=false&criteria=K-%7cE-%7cM-_5_%7cB-30000%7cD-_47_%7cN-N%7cR-500%7cI-1%7cP-PRICE+descending%7cQ-descending%7cZ-88007&aff=national&paId=272229778&recnum=11&leadExists=true

[Frank Rumbauskas]

Shyster, this is not a parody, I lived in Scottsdale long enough to know that this is real and guys like this are all over.

[war_shu_duck]

You people laugh but this young man is clearly suffering from the disease known as Middle Class Syndrome. It affects 7 out of 10 adults in the city of Scottsdale between the ages of 18 and 55.

The Symptoms are:

1) Delusions of grandeur- A sense that one is more important, powerful, and influential than they really are.

2) Boastfulness- an uncontrollable desire to tell anyone within ear shot (even strangers) just how wonderful you are.

3) A belief that everyone of the opposite sex and possibly the same sex wants you in a sexual manner.

4) An obsession with ones own imagine and appearance even if you are not attractive,famous, or wealthy.

5) An addiction to credit- For the average sufferer a credit card is what keeps them alive from paycheck to paycheck. These poor souls are the ones at the grocery story buying a candy bar and a coke with their credit cards at lunch time. Often they are still paying for dinners and drinks they had 6 months ago.

6) A total lack of understand for the accoutrements of the truly wealthy and the common man. To someone suffering from middle class syndrome being able to lease a Hummer or entry level European car puts you in the same league with someone able to pay cash for a $300k Rolls Royce or high end Italian sports car.

7) Another common symptom of this affliction is being in competition with friends, family members, co-workers, and neighbors. The male sufferers seem to be overly concerned with such things as their cars, how many people they have slept with and this size of their current girlfriends breasts. The female sufferers are overly concerned with the size of their own breasts, how much they think their current boyfriend is worth, their boyfriends car, and how much they think they can get out of the current boyfriend before its time to move on.

[TheazKid]

HERE'S ANOTHER TO WET YOUR WHISTLE
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/wan/721608893.html