What's it like to be a Scottsdale phony?

I'd imagine it has to be an extremely stressful lifestyle. Just look at how pissed off the regular trolls to this site always are. And look at how angry and rude most of them are, seemingly 24x7. None of them ever put up a valid argument, but instead spew forth profanity and insults like the insecure little babies they are. I figure their "lifestyle" is something like this:

- Endless humiliation from collection calls at home and at work
- Absolute terror at the sight of a tow truck anywhere near your car
- Obsessed with the next guy's car, watch, house, etc.
- Always worried that someone else will have better "status symbols" than you
- The fear of homelessness: Can't get approved to rent after a foreclosure
- The inner shame of knowing you're not who you claim to be
- Fear of embarrassment from credit cards getting declined out at dinner, bars
- Fear of the IRS coming to take all your stuff and slap the cuffs on you
- Fear of arrest and indictment thanks to your mortgage fraud and con games
- Knowing that you have no real friends, just similar status-obsessed phonies like you
- Knowing that your kids will grow up to be idiots thanks to the nation's worst schools

But most of all:

- Terrified that you will be found out. Your entire life, self-worth, and self-esteem is based on perpetuating the lie that you're a big shot with big money and a business, when in reality you're a reject who was run out of everywhere else and is now forced to live in bumpkin local-yokel Scottsdale with all the other shysters and con artists.

I've also noticed that the further north you go in Scottsdale, the more pissed off everyone is all the time.

Taking all that into consideration, it's perfectly explicable why everyone in Scottsdale is always so damn furious. At least the cardiologists will make a fortune from all the heart attacks and other stress-related problems.

Comments

[Shyster B Harvey]

I didn't know Scottsdale had "the nation's worst schools."

I guess those 4 kids in my graduating class with a perfect SAT score and the 15 national merit semifinalists (more than any other school in the southwest), and that my school offered the International Baccalaureate program with a 90+% IB diploma rate, were all anomalies.

[Frank Rumbauskas]

Yes, those kids were an anomaly. A friend of mine teaches at Sylvan Learning Center on Shea and tells me that the kids learn nothing in school. The ones who do well learn at home or at Sylvan. Those kids getting a perfect SAT score worked hard on their own to make that happen.

You have to have your head in the sand to miss the annual school ratings that consistently rank Arizona as dead last - #50. Scottsdale schools may be slightly better than the rest, but it's all relative. They still suck compared to the rest of the country.

One of the reasons we packed up and moved is that we want kids soon and there is NO WAY IN HELL we're raising them in that wasteland of stupidity.

Just Google "Arizona dumbest state"

[raven]

"Scottsdale Phony"---Excellent Post Frank, it captures the essence of these scumbags.

[Dean Kennedy]

I ran into a typical Snottsdale asswipe yesterday at lunch. I was simply driving away from my lunch spot to exit the shopping center, when all of a sudden whoa!! A Snottsdale asshole darts in front of me and into an empty parking space. I guess the little shit for brains thought I was planning on parking there, and he figured he was "entitled" to the spot. I had a simple solution, patiently wait for the Mr. Hyphen wannabe to exit his shitty little Toyota something, open my moonroof and extend middle finger in his direction.